viernes, julio 29, 2005

Las horas y los días

"There’ s a word in Spanish, I suppose you know. I wonder if it’s any longer in use. Instead of saying ‘to wake up’, you say recordarse, that is, to record yourself, to remember yourself. My mother used to say Que me recuerde a las ocho. ‘I want to be recorded to myself at eight.’ Every morning I get that feeling because I am more or less nonexistent. Then when I wake up, I always feel I’m being let down. Because, well, here I am. Here’s the same old stupid game going on. I have to be somebody. I have to be exactly that somebody. I have certain commitments. One of the commitments is to live through the whole day. Then I see all that routine before me, and all thing naturally make me tired. Of course when you’re young, you don’t fell that way. You feel, well, I am so glad I’m back in this marvellous world. But I don’t think I ever felt that way. Even when I was young. Especially when I was young. Now I have resignation. Now I wake up and I say: I have to face another day. I let it go at that."